Questions that may Lead to Discernment Counseling
Modern discernment counseling provides a safe space to identify if you want to continue working on your relationship or move towards separation. Here at Koger Counseling we offer discernment counseling for individuals and couples.
These are some of our questions that might be helpful to check in about if you are starting to contemplate if you want to stay in your relationship.
What would you need to see change in order to stay in this relationship?
What is your current level of hopefulness that the changes you would need to stay in your relationship will happen?
Who is your trusted support system you can be transparent with regarding your contemplation of leaving your relationship? (For some the answer is no one, and that is a good indicator that confidential therapy may be beneficial for you to identify what you truly want.)
What are my current reasons for staying? Are these reasons about me, or about the care I have for other people? (eg. my spouse, children, family, etc)
If my reasons are not about me, then how much do I feel I can be myself in this relationship?
Some of these questions can be difficult to answer alone. If you are having trouble identifying your answers, it might be time to talk to a discernment counselor.
Additionally, these topics can feel very isolating. So having 1:1 support in a confidential setting can help people identify if their answers to these questions are truly authentic to them- or are biased based on the systemic influence around them (eg. family dynamics, stress, judgment, oppressive role narratives, hierarchy of power, appeasement traits, etc).
If you are reading this, please know that you do not have to navigate this alone! There are many therapists out there who support people in discernment work. For more information to see if Simone is a good fit, contact us here.
