New Habits or New You?
As we start off 2024, a lot of people will start new things- new exercises, new jobs, new relationships, new outlooks- but what truly makes them stay after the February fallout?
A habit is defined as, “a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.” What this definition highlights well is that a habit is something that CAN end, but depending on how long, invested, and connected we are to this habit influences our ability to change it.
One method people tend to take on to keep new habits is fear. The fear of getting older, more alone, unhealthy, and less like the best version of ourselves terrifies people enough to try to uproot their current lives and take on new years resolutions. But does not actually work?
Research indicated that only 55% of people reported being “successful” with their new years resolutions. And the people who considered themselves “successful” a year after they started their new years resolutions were people who took an “approach-oriented” goals. Approach oriented goals are things that we are adding to our lives, rather than subtracting. Examples sound like: exercise more, stretch more, learn to cook, learn a new language, have more self care time. Examples of avoidance-oriented goals (the least successful) are statements such as: avoid smoking, lose weight, stop eating chocolate (the nerve!)
So How Does Actual Change Happen?
Step 1. Define It Accurately
Now that we have gone over the definition of a habit, lets go over what a routine is. A routine is, “a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program.” Notice how routine highlights the action we have to take in order for it to be successful; whereas a habit has a more avoidance-oriented definition…. (it’s starting to click!)
When we view the goals we want to set for ourselves as small edits to our routines, we are more likely to be successful at LONG TERM change.
Step 2. Set Mini Goals that Work Towards Your Larger Goals
This looks like:
2024 Goal Example: Increase my self care time.
Mini Goal Examples: Add 5 minutes to my nighttime routine for myself. Add a yoga class to my weekly routine. Set a standing self date every Wednesday.
2024 Goal Example: Improve my mental wellness
Mini Goal Examples: Find a therapist to meet with weekly. Add nature based activities to my weekly routine.
Notice how we are using “add'“ to a lot of these mini goals? Using approach oriented wording towards goals is going to help it feel more like an addition rather than a subtraction for our brains. Our brains hate losing things, even bad things. So the more we can use a bit of scheming to help our brains adjust, the more likely we are going to be successful with maintaining changes we truly want to make.
Step 3. Accountability
A New Years Resolution blog wouldn’t be complete without highlighting accountability. Accountability looks different to many people, and it can also depend on the mental health symptoms you are navigating. So check in with your personal therapist regarding ways to keep yourself accountable with your goals for 2024.
This can look like- going to therapy! wink wink It can look like having a workout buddy. It can be signing up for a class so you know you already paid for it- so might as well go. Or it could be having an alarm on your phone at the same time each day. Whatever it is, it is another element that can help you stay consistent and motivated.
Step 4. Motivation
Motivation is the golden key to how we operate. This is another reason why changing the term habit to routine is critical. Habits are things we tend to do but don’t necessarily want to do- we do them because it is what we are used to doing. Routines are based on how we want to live, act, feel, and be as people.
So when it comes to maintaining motivation, find what keeps your drive going. It could be a photo, a goal itself, a feeling, friends, a cause, or maybe a treat you give yourself as you complete mini goals. This is another great topic to go over with your therapist.
Now you have the secret recipe to success, will you use it?
Notice: Please note that we keep tips and ideas for prompts vague and brief because deeper thought points are done in the personalized space of private therapy. All our posts are meant to help provide ideas, but should not be considered clinical advice. If you are looking for a therapist to create goals and changes for yourself, contact us here!
Resources:
Oscarsson M, Carlbring P, Andersson G, Rozental A. A large-scale experiment on New Year's resolutions: Approach-oriented goals are more successful than avoidance-oriented goals. PLoS One. 2020 Dec 9;15(12):e0234097. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0234097. PMID: 33296385; PMCID: PMC7725288.
