Being a “Lifer” in Therapy

One of the most common questions people tend to ask me is, “how long do I need to be in therapy?” While this is an understandable question- it is a question soaked in stigma.

There is no one answer to this question. Sometimes there might be a need to tell someone an approximate of how long you professionally feel therapy “could be” helpful. In retrospect, the reality is that therapy is a lot more fluid than other forms of healthcare. Especially when it comes to seeing a therapist in private practice. I have so many friends who have gone through insurance for their therapist and are cut off after a short amount of sessions (or at least their plan won’t cover it fully anymore- leading them to end therapy earlier than they want to).

The point I am trying to reach is this: some of us are lifers. What is a therapy lifer? It is someone who sees the value in having consistent therapy through all that life brings their way. They also tend to be people who understand that therapy isn’t just for the “hard or bad” parts of life. Therapy can be a great tool for self development and deep self awareness.

Therapy is what you make of it.

Another point I want to highlight is that some people might see this and say, “Well Simone, what if I run out of things to talk about?” That might have to do with talking about changing the cadence more than it has to do with therapy not being a supportive space. For example, if you want to keep your therapist in your monthly routine, ask if they allow you to do monthly sessions versus biweekly or weekly. That way you can work on maintaining what you have learned and have a satellite appointment to check in regularly.

In my opinion, there is always more to talk about- because we are adding to our experiences every day. Our self awareness, wants, needs, life goals, relationships, (never ending list) are all things that develop over time. That is part of why I am a “lifer”. As a professional who provides therapy, I think it is my duty to actively be working on myself, my knowledge, and have that satellite time with my own therapist. Just like a personal trainer probably goes to the gym- us therapists in therapy are making every step we can to be the best at what we do.

In the end, checking in and communicating with your therapist about what cadence would be supportive to your therapy goals is the best way to understand what is going to work best for you personally.

Every client and situation is different. And if you do end services, there is always support out there for you to get in the future!