I’m Starting College! Now What?
This summer brings a lot of transitions for people graduating high school. The grief of leaving a consistent schedule, friends, routines, activities, and family after such a long time can be overwhelming. And at the same time, there aren’t many months in between leaving high school and beginning college- so you move from one big transition to the next!
So let’s go over 5 steps to supporting yourself or a loved one who is transitioning into college:
Let the Emotions Flow: Transitions bring grief in different ways. While there can be a lot of other mixed emotions in this process, I want to highlight the grief because without honoring it, this process can be a lot harder. Talk about your emotions with trusted people in your support system. Write or express your feelings in creative ways. Try to honor where you are at day to day. If you are a loved one of someone going to college, think about sharing your feelings with them- as well as ways to stay connected. Maybe it is a biweekly Facetime call, or sending pictures back & forth, or visiting a few times a year.
Create a Mock Schedule: Even though there is no way to fully know what will be a part of your schedule until you are in school, creating a mock schedule can help you start to visualize your day to day routine for college. This also means recognizing that rest, eating, self care, and other essentials of life cannot be dropped to the wayside because of school. Having a balanced schedule is important in fighting against potential burnout. Then, once you are in school you can amend your mock schedule to be more accurate.
Check in about Your Goals: A lot of people get swept up into the social norm that once you are in college, studying is everything. But in hindsight, studying in only one part of college. That isn’t to say studying should be last on your list of things to do- but it shouldn’t override that life balance we talked about in #2. Think about some of the big goals you have for your college experience. Maybe it is to make new friends, join a club, work at a job, start an internship, study abroad, etc. Whatever it is, it is probably meaningful enough to keep in mind when thinking about your new routine. If you are a loved one supporting a college student, this is a great point to highlight boundaries. Sometimes college newbies cling to their past life because it is so comforting and familiar. That is okay, but it will lead to a process of starting to set boundaries that fit more with them being a new adult.
Talk to a Therapist: This may be obvious, but the transition from high school to college is a LOT all at once. Even if you are excited to go to college, there still can be a lot to emotionally process with a therapist. Most colleges (if not all) have some form of counseling services for students. Or you can also find a counselor outside of your school if you prefer. A lot of therapists offer tele-therapy these days, and some of us offer college student discounts or sliding scale prices! Having someone who is professionally trained, probably gets some of what you are going through (since therapists need to have college education) and an outside perspective can be helpful in feeling supported as you start a new stage of life. A therapist can also potentially help you figure out any cycles or habits you want to work on changing as you start school.
Let Go of Expectations, and Have Fun Learning Your New Life: There are a lot of movies, tv shows, or even other people who you may know you might be basing what you expect college to be like off of. It is totally normal to have expectations or goals for your time in college. But don’t let the expectations get in the way of what you can actually experience. For example, maybe you have a harsh expectation that you will become best friends with your roommate, or find a core group of friends right away. It is fine having a goal to create authentic and fun friendships- that is not the same as expecting to do those things and getting self critical if it doesn’t happen right away. Let go of expectations, and start focusing on easing into your new world.
While these are only a few ideas, no one can really give you full advice on what to do, how to act, or what to prioritize except yourself. If you are hoping to find a counselor outside your school system, check if they have a local referral list. Or you can find many options on search engines such as Psychology Today, Multicultural Therapists, Open Path, or Therapy Den.
Good luck on your new beginning!
